In case you didn't know, once in a while I give out awards. Well the other day I spotted a prime candidate and nominee for "Biggest Colonic Orifice" aka "Biggest Asshole" award. He just may win, but it's only half way through the year, I haven't actually spoken to him yet and I could have very well caught him on a bad day. I suspect for him, those are called Weekdays.
So I was out near Panda Express (yes I know it's not authentic Chinese food but it's the only thing quasi-healthy nearby) trying to find parking and a security truck driver from Brinks Security left his (large) truck running while he was somewhere. Now I sort of assumed this could be a security measure and perhaps he was transferring money or something. But to my not-so-surprise, he was coming out with food.
A few issues with this scenario.
1. His truck was parked and running..not only is that just bad for the environment to leave the car idling while not in use, but I presume he left the keys in the truck. So he's environmentally unfriendly and dumb too. And frankly I'm not a big fan of people who sit in their car while it's running to "cool off" in their air conditioner. Roll down a window and if you live near a desert or it's that hot out...go inside! But I can ALMOST excuse that...however it was overcast that day it wasn't too hot that day so he had to leave is truck idling to run the air conditioner.
2. He didn't park in a parking spot. He actually parked in FRONT of THREE parking spots. He was in the lane where traffic in that lot would be going.
3. By virtue of parking in front of those 3 spots, his truck was not only blocking those 3 spots but also parking spots on the other side of his big ass truck. So essentially he prevented 6 spots from being occupied. Oh and this was at lunch hour mind you.
4. By virtue of being where he was, he was also causing congestion for cars traveling in that lane of the lot..his truck was too big for 2 cars to go around simultaneously.
So when this nominee for the biggest colonic orifice came outside with his food, he got in his truck and sat there eating food while his truck was running. Didn't bother to move it.
The only way he could been a bigger asshole if he shot some nuns and stepped on a child's back to get in his truck.
Now there are 2 sides to every story. Unfortunately both sides of this one unfold the tale of "This Guy Is a Huge Douchebag Prick Asshole"(Is that a Douchickhole or Prickassbag?). Hey, he may win in the category of "Biggest Douchebag" and "Biggest Prick" as well.
