King of Beepers, Burgers, Bailbonds...

You ever notice how many Kings there are in the media? I believe it started with Burger King. Makes sense; has a lot of loyal subjects in his Kingdom...Home of the Whoppers...I guess they didnt really go down the King route with the food names. But really he was the only character they developed; McDonalds was run by a clown and he has a lot more "subjects", Grimace, Mayor McCheese, Hamburgerlar, etc al. And the new commercials for BK lately have him running from the authorities. What kind of wuss king has to run from ANYbody?

I live in Southern Cal and I recall in LA we had "JJ the King of Beepers", who had commercials on the radio and billboard ads in which he had a woman in a bikini straddling a giant beeper. Classy king, that JJ. I love this one too.

In Long Beach we had The Bedspread King, Al Greenwood. Sort of a dull kingdom. Not a lot going on in that castle; I've been there. And I think he was like eleventy-five years old on top of it all.

I've also seen SEVERAL billboard ads with different "Kings" of Bailbonds. Again, not a very lively kingdom, and why so many? They are usually the old dudes in a business suit with a typical king crown on too. Where are the Queens and Dukes of Bailbonds? What about the Jester of Bailbonds? And if we're talking about playing cards, isn't the Ace the best one? I'm gonna open up the Ace of Bailbonds and counter the Kings with my young hip swag.

Anyway I thought it would be interesting to find out missed opportunities that may have not come yet to fruition with the King name attached to it. If you think about it there are a lot of compound words with "king" in it.

Cell Phones for Tall guys - Tall-King!

Marijuana sales in the Himalayas - High King!

A great place for Dogs to get liquored up - Bar King!

Answers to questions about Girls with Big Booties - Ass King!

Best Vietnamese place ever - Pho King! (this exists!!!...that's better than the one I found called "What The Pho?").

Clothing store geared towards State Universities - SU-King!

A place for pigs with low socio-economic status - Poor King!

Well just some ideas...

And it's a very male dominated language. I'm wondering why I can't be talqueen to someone when they're asqueen me a question. Maybe if I answer right, thereby barqueen out the right answer, there will be a lot of sucqueen and porqueen going on later!